Greeting Oxford

 

Oxford, England

April

It's a long journey across that open ocean - over 4,000 miles. It might as well be 10,000 miles, for the land of England is so very different from my usual tropical location much closer to the equator. The journey takes place by way of car, airplane, bus, and foot. An overnight journey with no sleep leaves me feeling tortured by the want of sleep. Sitting is the worst possible thing, so as soon as I step off the bus and my feet hit the ground on High Street, in Oxford, my luggage pulled along next to me, backpack on, those feet are trotting along saying hello to all the Oxford places so familiar, I feel at home immediately. Exhaustion is forgotten. I am all smiley. Ask my mum. She will tell you.

I say hello to all the places - hello Queen's College, hello Bridge of Sighs, hello Bodleian Library, hello Rad Cam, oh hello Weston Library, Blackwell's, Sheldonian,.... I stay awake by saying hello. Greeting my beloved city of Oxford.

Spring is well underway, in fact, we have missed the Magnolia season, those trees hold to some final blooms and are bursting in fresh green leaves. In consolation, we enter Cherry Blossom season. Such trees are radiantly bloomed and gorgeous. Early Lilacs spill over the wall along Queen's Lane. Tulips are planted in every pot and container and are glorious to see. The horse chestnut tree is wearing its full green leafy look over the Jesus College wall. Daffodils are very much dancing in the gusty winds along all the parks. There's so much to see and appreciate. 

Typical English rains come and go daily. Always keep the brolly handy. Wear a raincoat. It's windy out there. Be sure to have a place in mind to stop for tea/coffee or book browsing. These are important things to pay attention to.

The first days are always about acclimation, getting over the exhaustion of travel, and greeting a place that feels ancient, yet is modern in so many ways. It's an intersection of the old and the new. Waking up the next day feeling refreshed is always such a joy, for there is so much time ahead to go out to all the places around the city. There is so much, I can never fit it all in. 

But - It all starts with books, after a proper English breakfast and greetings to Oxford, of course. That's the first requirement upon arrival. Then, it's the books. Oxfam provides that perfect welcoming book browse, and I come out with two new (old) books in hand. That's just to get warmed up. Oxford is a city of books, which is like a dream to me. 

We continue on Turl Street, Broad Street, Catte Street. Checking into our room but going right back out again. Venturing around saying hello to Oxford until we are too tired to continue as the travel catches up with us. We finally sit down for our first of many pizzas. Yum. It's so lovely to be back. 

Beauty in Words for Easter

 

God, on us thy mercy show,
Make on us thy blessings flow;
Thy face's beams
From heav'n upon us show'r 
In shining streams:
That all may see
The way of thee,
And know thy saving pow'r.

- From translation of Psalm 67 by Mary Sidney Herbert.

Happy Easter! We can rejoice because the Lord is risen, He is risen indeed!

During Lent I like to read some kind of regular daily reading to keep my heart in tune with the Lord in an intentional poetic way. I have been reading (as I do each year) Malcolm Guite's The Word in the Wilderness (poem a day with reflection), which is always wonderful to go through.

But this year I also discovered the amazing poetry of Mary Sidney Herbert and her brother Philip Sidney. They translated the Psalms together, (side note: I love the sibling writing project) and the Psalms are compiled in this Oxford World Classics book The Sidney Psalter I have been reading. These poems are glorious. Written over years from the late 1580s, and continued by Mary after Philip died very young from a battle wound. They were never officially published in their lifetime, but manuscripts of the newest Psalm would be passed around widely, and were very well known. People would copy out the latest translation and share with others. 

What's marvelous about these poems is that they are hugely influential on the poets I have loved and read for so long, and for good reason - John Donne, George Herbert, John Milton, Edmund Spenser and many other writers praised these poems in print and often borrowed from their style and methods in their own poetry. 

These are God's words, God's words are ever pure:
Pure, purer than the silver throughly tried,
When fire sev'n times hath spent his earthly parts.  

(from the translation of Psalm 12)

Remembering also, this is all done before the King James Version of the Bible was translated (1611) so they were using the Coverdale 1539 translation and the Geneva Bible. They also used French and Latin translations of the Bible. The Sidneys yoked all these together in a compilation that also reflects their own voices and styles. The result is a set of poems that are flowing to read, they use repetitive words beautifully, rhyming that is musical and lovely, and alternating styles from one Psalm to the next. It's an absolute treat reading these Psalms and I can't believe I did not discover them sooner. 

Their images, metaphors, and overall use of language is masterful. Any poet can learn from what they do with words. 

Then fear not we, let quake the ground,
And into seas let mountains fall,
Yea, so let seas withal,
In wat'ry hills arise,
As may the earthly hills appal,
With dread and dashing cries.

For, lo, a river streaming joy
With purling murmur safely slides,
That city washing from annoy,
In holy shrine where God resides.
God in her centre bides:
What can this city shake?
God early aids and ever guides:
Who can this city take?

(from the translation of Psalm 46)

As we reach Easter and all the joy that this Holy-Day (holiday) is, I reach for these Psalms for a fresh turn of words (ironically, very old words, which often provide the freshest perspective) on the familiar Psalms that we all have read during our lives in varied emotional states. What beauty in words these are and I relish in them. 

I mean, how stunning are these lines? Just read them out loud to appreciate the alliterative sounds and flow: 

My tongue the pen to paint his praises forth,
Shall write as swift as swiftest writer may.

(from the translation of Psalm 45)

May you have a blessed Easter!

Where I've Been Lately: Studying, Books, Coffee

 

A visit to an old browsing spot of mine, Parker's Books in downtown Sarasota.

The open, spacious, lovely Selby Public Library in downtown Sarasota. 

Trying a new (to me!) lunch spot in Sarasota, Lila. Delicious cafe with lots of vegan and gf options.

Study spot on the second floor of the Selby Library. I spent a good couple hours here with the best view out the window of downtown. It's a special place that invokes good memories, as this is almost the exact spot I came to research and write my final English paper in high school on Madeleine L'Engle. Love coming back here.

This is about five minutes after I passed the big exam I have been studying for. So much relief, so much to be thankful for in the ability and blessing that it is to study and pass a tough exam.

Hello, Selby Library, my old friend.

Brunch at Project Coffee in Sarasota. Perfect study spot, delicious food and coffee. It fueled me very well for a good, productive day.

Break time for an avocado toast, matcha, and good book at Black n' Brew at the Lakeland Public Library, another regular spot for me.

Made a latte with an abstract tulip? Still working on my latte art skills (eh, pretend skills)

Hallo - It's been a while! It's also been a bit of repeat for me and my life lately, let's see it looks like - study, books, coffee. You haven't missed much. There may have been a slight variety in the pattern, but the study and coffee showed up in the routine like clockwork. 

Most reading time lately has been occupied by the important studying for a big exam I very recently passed. (I did get a few pages of reading for fun squeezed in each night, don't worry.) I am so filled with thankfulness for the opportunity, and I took a great deal of time for it, and for me studying requires that time and effort. I've always been that way. Back in college the regular occurrence would be that I would sit up on my bed with my very chunky textbook and notebook studying for the next accounting exam whilst my roomie went out to a social event. When I have something important to study, I devote myself to it. I put it ahead of all other fun things I might want to do. Most people would call me "too serious". But it's just my way because I want to know the things I am studying. I also see the end date, the light at the end of the tunnel, and I push through, knowing it will pay off to accomplish a big goal.

In my long study hours, my treat has been to make myself a latte. It feels fancy and tastes delicious. I grind some fresh beans, froth some barista oat milk, and pretend I am in a coffee shop using my beautiful cup and saucer, then I would get back to my desk to study. I love studying, honestly - all the research, reading, thinking, practicing. But the big exam at the end is always the scary part I am not super fond of with all the anxious nervousness.

So I am celebrating now! My way includes hours of reading for pleasure and sleeping beyond 5:15 am occasionally. It feels like I have all this time suddenly. It feels like a gift! And it is. Everyday is truly a gift and I am blessed to get to do good work when I am at the office, and then pursue good things in my personal time. 

I had to travel to Sarasota for the exam, and it was a real treat to my pre-test anxiety to be in an old familiar place I love and have always loved since I was a kid. Being downtown was calming, visiting some of the places I've been to countless times helped take my mind off the exam, and I felt less stressed in those hours. I browsed a bookshop I've been to so many times since high school, I sat in the library with views out the window that bring back good memories, I ate delicious food. But I took study time along the way at the coffee shop and library, so I was still productive. It was an ideal situation for me. 

All that rambling catch-up to say - thank you for being here. For stopping by my little blog door and peaking in to read a post. More to come - my schedule is all clear for lots of reading excellent books that have been patiently waiting for me to pick them up!

Glimpses of January and February

 

As you can see, and I totally admit, life outside of work and studies for work involves a lot of coffee and reading. You might think me the dullest sort, but it's the books and good ideas presented to me that stretch my thoughts, and coffee that wakes up my mind in the morning. Get comfortable at the table with me, along with a good cup of coffee, and let's turn the pages of a thought-provoking book. 

A murder mystery abandoned by Dorothy L. Sayers (and finished by Jill Paton Walsh) re-visits the characters Lord Peter and Harriet, for a London based mystery that enters their circle. A murder of a new acquaintance raises so many questions, and leads them on the trail to follow the steps and timing of the murder. This felt a little bit like an unfinished work of D.L.S. (not quite as polished and brilliant as D.L.S.) but it still held some of the charm of the characters and was fun to re-visit them in a story I hadn't yet read. A good kind of escape from the real world with beloved characters.

A book about the history in Mexico in the 1930s when they outlawed the Catholic church and murdered of all the priests, here we have one priest left and he's on the run, both from the Mexican soldiers hunting him and his own past that he's ashamed of. He feels consistently unworthy and full of sorrow for the people who have been forced to renounce their faith. It reads like Dostoyevsky with complex psychological questions and moral dilemmas and stay with you later because there are no clear answers, it's muddy and messy as humanity is.

A book to encourage and inspire one to invoke an essentialist way of thinking; shifting your mindset that you can only hold so much in your life, and too often we fill it with nonessentials. We need to let go of those nonessentials, both material and time-consuming, so that we can focus on the essentials, the things that really matter and are important. This book spoke to me with profound reminders I've already been embracing but still have much room for improvement. It keeps coming back into thought, to help me grow in the best ways of embracing the essentials. 

A Lovely Winter Day

 

I took myself out for my birthday morning to enjoy the lovely winter weather we were blessed with. January is easily my top month, which goes against the grain of how most people view January (cold, dark, gloomy), but I love everything about it. This day was all sunshine and crisp air, but I will gladly take the cloudy days most would call gloomy. To me, clouds add interest and atmosphere, which in turn adds an inspiring element that I usually want to capture in words or a photo. 

What could be better than a browse in a used bookshop (Inklings Book Shoppe located downtown now), a coffee, and a time in the lovely Hollis Garden? It felt like such an indulgence to enjoy these moments so selfishly. It was a time of not being productive, of indulging in book browsing, and writing a poem in the garden. I began to ask myself - is it okay to take time to do such a frivolous thing? The answer came easily following the trail of the question - yes. It was a couple hours of filling up my bucket.  With the intensity of other things that have been occupying my time, it truly felt like a gift to take time out to be so frivolous, and it was much needed. So simple, really. I used my birthday as an excuse to take the time, but I know I should probably use a more easily contrived excuse for next time (not a once per year occurrence).

The beautiful thing about the time was the freshness of the air and how restoring the time was for my soul. I haven't been taking time for these things lately, and I feel it deeply. It is to my own detriment that I don't set aside such times. It was perhaps perfect timing to have just finished reading Essentialism, a book about setting aside the things that are nonessential to have space in your life, focus on the important things, and not be bogged down by all the clutter or noise of everything trying to grab you. It is something I've already been working on in my life, but I am better equipped with some tools to allow myself to let go of things that are not essential. It's refreshing to do so. 

I tend to have a sanguine view of the days ahead, not because I think the world's problems or my own will all be solved, but because I trust in the Lord who is all loving, all knowing, all seeing, and who is in charge of all creation. It means everything is in His hands, and that brings much comfort, that a higher power has ultimate oversight and it's not in human hands. The Lord is in charge, who has created and is creating. I am cheerfully confident in that, and felt it through and through as I sat in the garden penning these wind-swept words into a silly poem.

It's a beautiful day to sit in the garden
A cold breeze, fresh air, but do pardon
My warm wool blazer and sweater layers
I'm inspired by the age of Dorothy L. Sayers
And it's delightfully cold so I may deploy
This perfect way to dress and enjoy
Perched on my select bench with views
That conjure the words, inspire my muse.

The Edge of Moments

 

We are always teetering on the edge of a moment. We approach it, sometimes unaware of it until we are right at the edge of it. It could be why we can so often feel like something is about to happen and then it does. Sometimes it's the unknown that sneaks up, or it could be the almost known, as possibly expected.

I clammer in my mind to make sense of such a paucity. The thing small which catches me, makes me pause and stand at the edge there considering. A tacit moment.

In these quiet moments that will provide a space and draw me in - it almost says more than a speech could contain. Listening in the silence is key.

I would contain the notion that we stare into the potential as we move forward sometimes not actually seeing. Taking a breath to notice it causes me to conciliate instead of feel frenzied. Sometimes all I need when the world is cluttered around me demanding every fibre of me, is to pause and step back to see ahead of me. It can quickly shift to something beautiful with a change of perspective.

They are gifts, each one. These moments can speed by; they don't necessarily pause for you, especially if you don't pause for them. Like the sunset sky always changing every second, the daily ritual of time is nonstop. It doesn't rest to let you rest. You must take the time and use it for these moments. Allow yourself to be drawn into the present. We stand at the brink of it, though, something...

On Reading Challenging Books

 

Happy 2024 to you!

With the freshness of a new year comes the tendency to think about ways to improve oneself in the coming 12 months. It's an admirable task that requires some reflection on the last year and the thoughts of how to work toward becoming better in some way. Whether that's through setting goals, changing habits, setting intentional tasks, everyone is different in how they might approach it. 

I think a lot about reading, of course, as it is one of life's greatest pleasures, but it's also one of life's gifts for learning, growing, being challenged, and developing into a better person. I often talk to people about books and in conversation I might mention some authors I love and quite frequently I hear something along the lines of - "oh that's too difficult for me to read. I don't understand any of it." While it might be true that the level of that author might be above one's level at the moment, you will never grow as a reader if you never read above your level. If you only stick to the comfortable, easy books where you know everything, you'll always feel like certain books are "off limits" because they are above your ability to understand. You are limiting yourself.

I always wonder what people are afraid of if they don't understand everything in a book. I usually explain that I also don't understand everything by that author, and maybe when I read it 5 years ago I only understand 40% of it, but certain things stick and over the years I grow into that knowledge. Then, I will read it again and grasp much more, maybe understanding 70%. We grow into the wisdom that has come before us by reading ahead of ourselves and letting it guide us. Sooner rather than later, you grow into that level of reading and it becomes your level of reading the more you do it. Which then opens the doors to a world of more books to read that once scared you.

So as I ponder these things, I think about my own reading and how I want to continue to challenge myself and put my brain to work. I want to pick up the great books. The books that will make me think deeply. The books that will get my cognitive muscles working. The books that will improve my life by teaching me great insights. To read those wiser than me. My intelligence will never grow by sitting in a comfort zone. So, here are some notes to self, as I pick up books to read this coming year. 

- Put your brain to work. We are gifted with the amazing ability to think, ponder, consider, weigh morals, judge, muse, question. Use that gift. Stretch your brain and your understanding of the world.

- What is the real reason you are afraid to read something you deem is above your intelligence?

- Read outside your comfort zone. Don't just read about the topics you already know. Read topics you know very little about.

- Read above your intelligence level. It's okay to enjoy some fun books of course, but weave in the challenging ones as well. Ones you think are "too smart" for you.

- Don't be afraid to feel kind of stupid as you read. Nobody else knows as you read that you didn't know about "this" or "that".  

- Don't be afraid to be confused by a book, or not understand it all. Bits and pieces will stick, and you'll come back to it later. In the meantime, it's a good brain workout.

Christmas Cheer and Cups of Cosy

 

By the tender mercy of our God,
the dawn from on high will break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into a way of peace.

-Luke 1.78-79

Recipe for adding Christmas cheer:

- Ring the bell for Salvation Army 

- Advent Tea Calendar - a different tea to make every night. Cosiness in a cup

- Pressed Books and Coffee Christmas decor and book shopping

- Soft twinkle lights and candles to light to darkness of every evening

- Time with family and friends with gifts and good food

Directions:

- Add all ingredients to the daily agenda or the calendar (sprinkle love onto each one and enjoy the moments in your heart) and allow for reflection time on the great gift given by the tender mercy of God.

- May your heart be full, may your life be never the same when Christ comes to enter in.

Christmas is Near

What's this feeling like a pop of cheer?
Truly it is because Christmas is near.
More of Christ and less of us
Can we somehow let go of fuss?
To dive into love, the truest love of all
Separate from noise to hear love's call
A gift we have before us, unlike any gift
Something we scarce imagine; if we sift
Our minds and hearts, we find a need within
the deep place - a longing like something akin
To the mystical between worlds desire
We often fill with worldly mud and mire
Instead of looking up from said mud to see
The glorious present of Love, come down to you and me. 

Prepare - Wait - Trust - Faith

 

To prepare is to harness that usually unlikeable practice of waiting, for you don’t need to prepare for something already here. Preparing leaves in its essence the unknown. To prepare is to be in the darkness before the light is switched on. Preparing is filling your oil lamps and keeping them filled. To prepare for a future hope is to trust. You may not know when or how exactly it will happen, but you trust that which you are preparing for will come. Trusting leads to faith-faith in what you may not be able to see.

We have but faith: we cannot know;

For knowledge is of things we see

And yet we trust it comes from thee,

A beam in darkness: let it grow.

(Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Advent is a season of waiting. The Latin “veni” in Advent speaks of ‘coming’, which invokes an invitation to prepare and then wait in an eager expectation of the coming. For Advent, imagine yourself in the unknown pre-Christ’s birth time of history when the people of the world were in a darkness because the Ancient of Days was coming, but had not yet come. They could not see. That which was ‘yet-to-come’ was left to images and metaphors, the only way was to imagine in ways humans can. The O Antiphons are prayers/poems that lead us up to Christmas, each one describing Christ from ancient days without ever naming Him. They call Him by other names in their expectations and understanding of Him being all these things. These are poems  of anticipation, of waiting for the promise to be fulfilled. They are prayers of hope and longing at the same time. The names of each one:

-Sapientia (wisdom)

-Adonai (Lord)

-Radix Jesse (root of Jesse)

-Clavis David (key of David)

-Oriens (dayspring)

-Rex Gentium (king of nations)

-O Emmanuel (God with us)

In the spirit of preparing I read poems. Poems that cause me to pause. Words that squeeze so much meaning into very few lines. Poems that encourage imaginatively living before Christ’s birth to better understand the Advent hope. The Advent miracle of Love-the freely given Love that came down to meet us where we are. Poems allow a hidden divine presence to dance in light between the words and carefully coined phrases.

Poems invite us to dive into their words and images, in anticipation of what is to come–

If thy first glance so powerful be,

A mirth but open’d and seal’d up again;

What wonders shall we feel, when we shall see

Thy full-ey’d love!

When thou shalt look us out of pain,

And one aspect of thine spend in delight

More than a thousand suns disburse in light,

In heaven above.

(George Herbert)

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness-on them light has shined. (Isaiah 9:2)

Lord, You are our Lord, You are wisdom, the root, the key, the day spring, the king of all nations, and You are with us. May we seek You in all our preparation and through any darkness that surrounds us. May we pause with poetic words that draw us closer to You. To seek You always, in all things. Amen. (Written for my church's Advent Devo this year)

Slowing Down in Advent

Isaiah 40:3

The voice of one crying in the wilderness:

“Prepare the way of the Lord;

Make straight in the desert

A highway for our God.

It may seem counter-cultural. It sure is. It may sound challenging. Yep. That's right. You'll say, well that's not possible, my schedule is too full. I have too much going on. I don't have time. Especially this time of year when the calendar is jam-packed. Who has time to slow down to be mindful, meditative, and prayerful? 

Why do we resist slowing down so much? Is it our culture? Is it us? What are we afraid of? Missing out?

I think about this in the context of our culture and the idea of always having to keep up with everything. No matter what it is - trends, fads, music, business, slang, events. There is a sense of needing to check social media for the latest trend to latch onto, as if it is going to fill some hole in our lives, which by the way you didn't know existed until the trending video told you. 

It's not that there is anything wrong in these things in themselves, until and unless they become the thing you idolize. And we all idolize something. If it's not God, then it's something of this world. A person, a trend, any other thing, anything can become an idol. It is so easy to let something other than God fall into your number one place of idolizing.

Advent is all about preparing. Why do we need to prepare? Because our hearts so easily gravitate toward selfish desires rather than opening to the heart of God and letting go of our desires. We need the reminder to draw back closer to Him and let go of those things that keep us "needing" the things we idolize, being chained to them. 

Advent comes once per year, and we most definitely need the reminder to re-tune our hearts. But we can casually shrug it off and keep on going business as usual indulging in the cheerfulness of secular Christmas, or we can pause and take this time to draw closer to God and see how it changes our lives. This could be through many different avenues that cause us to go deeper such as (these are all reminders to myself and things I will be focusing on):

- Prayer time: Set aside 10 minutes (or an hour if you have it) to be in a prayerful posture. Sit with the Lord. You don't have to have words. A simple line to prayerfully repeat is all that's needed, such as "Lord, You are the true Light, prepare my heart for You."

- Advent readings and devotionals: there are so many to choose from, books, videos, downloads. They are usually short and offer insightful reflective prompts to set the tone for the day. 

You can read my church's Advent Devotional online HERE. Contributions are by pastors and laity of the church, and you may catch my own small contribution. 

- Decorate and feast with meaning: practice for the coming joy. Hold the mindset of everything being in celebration of Christ. His coming, His love, the gift of Him is why we give gifts. The feasts we have are in preparation for the banquets He prepares for us. The comforts of home can remind us of the dwelling He has for us in His Kingdom, which is here, begun already. We can see glimpses of that by curating such beautiful reminders in our days.

- Quiet times for reflection: funny enough my quiet times usually revolve around a cup of coffee or tea. Why is that? Making a delicious hot drink causes me to slow down and stay somewhere with it. It offers the perfect time to sit and be reflective. That can be alone or with a loved one. It can be journaling or some Bible reading and refection alone or with the other person.

Happy Advent  - may this season bring the light and love of Christ into your heart.